Cyndi Cross
Forum Replies Created
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This article resonates so deeply with me …
We lost Zoey on Feb 20, 2021 from canine hemangiosarcoma. And, although it has lessoned over time, the pain has never gone away – and it never will. I still deeply miss my Zoey girl. But, I can finally focus on some of the most incredible things about Zo, and have tucked those things into my heart. Her submissive smile; her helicopter tail wag; what a great traveler she was; what an amazing companion she made; her grunt/groan when she was made to wait for something; the way she opened Christmas gifts, like a “people”; the way she carefully carried her woobies around; the way she joyously lept onto the very first bed I ever made her; her glow the very first time she saw the ocean & played dog beach … those memories both lift me up, and bring tears to my eyes. I also have a small shrine to Zo in “dog training central” (where I keep all my “dog” books, toys & training supplies). It helps me to remember her and how I started this journey with K9-1.
Sadly, I decided that the faster I adopted another dog, the faster I would heal. Man, I was wrong. We adopted a family dog, about 2 weeks after Zoey passed. Big mistake. When we decided to rehome her, we contacted a family member who, unbeknownst to us, had always wanted Ginny. But, I wasn’t ready – I couldn’t connect with her. I couldn’t be for her what she needed. I was still reeling from Zo’s death and felt like such a huge failure … My feeling of loss was too great a hurdle to get over. It wasn’t fair to her, to keep her, knowing that I could never love her the way she deserved to be loved. The night before we delivered her to her new daddy, I laid down beside her, petted her & cried, and told her that this was *my* failure, not hers – she just deserved better than me.
Gin is now living her best dog life ever, on a farm in Idaho, doing what she was bred to be – a bird dog. While giving up Ginny still stings sometimes – I know that I made the best thing for her, that I could have; and the blessing she has been to her new family has been remarkable.
When we met Lacey, I knew in my heart that she was the absolute right pup for us. Lacey, btw, was born 3 days before Zoey died; so I’ve always believed, that she was being prepared for us before Zoey left us. There are still days when I feel that tremendous loss and I cry – sometimes uncontrollably; and on those days, Lacey comes and licks my tears away … She could not be anymore perfect for our family and we love her so deeply for the amazing pup that she has grown into.
I hope you’ll find peace and healing in the days & weeks to come.
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I’d heard about some interesting laws in Germany regarding the keep & care of dogs there. To refresh my memory on one of those laws, I googled & found this article.
https://viatravelers.com/dog-laws-in-germany/https://viatravelers.com/dog-laws-in-germany/
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This really tweaks the science geek in me. Interesting reading. Interesting reading. Now living in Southern California … earthquake country … I’m subtly curious to know what Lacey feels when it comes to tremors or potential tremors.
Of course, I’m not in a hurry to find out 😆…. but the curiosity is there.
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I’m a little late to this discussion …
No words except … I’m so sorry that this happened to you & Navy. You didn’t do anything wrong … sometimes we’re just so shocked by what we see that we can’t mentally process what’s happening quickly enough to react as we would have wished – or otherwise might have. It happens to all of us at one time or another. But, you are in the right place here, Maria; and I’m confident that Sybl can help you get Navy to a more confident & happy place again. -
I completely understand! We stacked baby gates in an attempt to corral a critter, too! That also did not go well! In my case, the “critter” was my youngest son when he was a toddler. He’s Autistic and was extremely hyperactive. We needed to construct a “safe room” for him (per his psychiatrist); and since we had no other rooms that we could convert … we created one in our hallway.
My dad constructed a door from plywood with a steel mesh insert, which was tall & smooth enough that Evan couldn’t climb up, over, or UNDER, it. It was as non-isolating as we could safely make it. Evan could look out and see us, and we could look in and observe him. The space was also manageable for Evan, and he could play without sensory overload. Evan’s case manager & psychiatrist thought the door was brilliant.
Necessity is usually the mother of invention … Maybe my situation can help you find a workable solution for your dilemma (?) – something that would simultaneously give you peace, give your Mal more freedom & provide much needed respite for the cats. 🤷♀️
Just a thought.
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I love Stanley Coren. I’ve read at least 2 of his books and have watched this lecture (twice?) … I’m watching it again. Thanks!
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Just curious, but … do you have a gate (or gates) in your home to give your Mal some boundaries and allow your cats the freedom of escaping the dog when they need to? We have a gate up in our bathroom, with a small pet door at the bottom, so that when Frankie wants/needs peace from Lacey, he can get it on his own. That way, we don’t have to take turns kenneling Lacey to give Frankie freedom, or closing up Frankie in a room to give Lacey some freedom. Both still have access to the entire house (I’m home all day), and Lacey isn’t destructive; so it’s been a win/win for us. However, some dogs see a gate as a personal “challenge” to be accepted …
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Lacey will seek Frankie out to “dog” (engage in play) with her – but Frankie, of course, doesn’t engage in play that way; so sometimes they end up scrapping instead. When it goes too far, I intervene; otherwise, I allow them to work things out. Then, there are times when Lace will be laying down on her bed, and Frankie will attempt to come & cuddle with her. Lace’s response is usually to leave her bed, rather than allow that interaction. That said, Lacey *does* have a very high prey drive – but I also haven’t seen her “stalking” Frankie or treating him as “prey” since she was a really young puppy. Maybe I’m missing something, though?
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Hi Rachael, thanks for your reply.
I have a good book on Essential Oils: The Animal Desk Reference II: Essential Oils for Animals (Melissa Shelton, DVM), and am extremely cautious about what I use in my house and around Frankie & Lacey. Because of my lungs, I don’t burn scented candles (which can be extremely toxic to animals); make several of my own cleaning products, and only add certain essential oils which I know to be safe for the furkids to be around. My home & I are as fragrance-free as possible because breathing just isn’t one of those “optional” life functions … 😆
On our next Vet visit, I may suggest Valor, and see if she’s willing to try it. I’ve found it on Amazon (Young Living), and am not opposed to trying it to see if the furkids & I can tolerate it – so, “thank you.”
I’m curious as to where your pheromone research leads you – so please share when you are able. I’ll keep doing my own research as well, because the topic intrigues me – but also because I don’t want to blindly jump into something that will end up hurting my furkids.
Again, thank you for your response!
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I know this thread is over 5 years old … I found it while I was exploring the latest changes in the website!😀 I’ve been looking for something better for Lacey to chew on besides the plastic chew toys that can be bad for a dogs digestive tracts; or some of the old packaged & potentially toxic-type bones & chews found at the pet stores. Those usually make Lacey throw up.
However, Lace loves wood … and chews on wood and has since she was a teeny pup. She’s also chewed on antlers and seems to like them as well. I’ve found a couple of bones, based on your suggestion here, that may work great for her – so THANK YOU. -
Art – thank you so much for posting this article! I was subscribed to this website at one point (not sure what happened) – and just resubscribed. Great article and something I needed to read. I’m very goal-oriented on our walks; but, I need to take the focus off of “me” when we walk & put it back on Lace. A much needed “Attitude Adjustment” – Thank You.
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In my desperation, I found K9-1, but instead invested in a different dog training program. And, while some of their practices were helpful getting Lacey kennel & potty trained – the rest of their practices left gaping holes in education/training, no true logic, very vaguely answered questions, and little to no support. It was during a moment of clarity, that I spoke to my husband about joining K9-1, and I’ve never looked back. One of the best decisions I’ve ever made.
I’m not sure I could have kept my mouth shut … or stayed in my seat while watching that scene unfold … or maintained any semblance of composure. A lot of people around me would have been really angry because I’d have gotten louder & louder with each dissent. I probably would have left … but I know that you were there to support Mav and his mama.
Thank you for bringing this experience to everyone’s attention and for being both, a passionate voice, and one of reason. This is why FSDT is so important – and why we need to glean as much information as we can from Mike and people like you. Humans and their … our … dogs are and will be so much better off because of FSDT and you both.
